running, man

So this Thanksgiving started exactly the same way it did the past two years. With the Detroit Turkey Trot. For those of you that don't know, this is a handy dandy little 10k run that is put on before the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Now, 10k is about 6.2 miles. For distance runners and people who run consistently, this is not too bad. But for people who are not really runners, it is potential injury or death at every stride. I happen to fall into the latter category. I managed to run the whole thing in 1:03:21, which, by my calculations, is not fast. The only running I did of more than 2 miles anywhere near to the actual race was the Tuesday before, when I ran 4 miles and felt okay. Of course, when it counted, I cramped up during mile 3. Hideous. The only consolation was that I was able to take the void caused by personal defeat and later that day, fill it with food.

It's the end of the world as we know it

I'm trying to not post on this thing too much (i.e. every day), but this topic absolutely demands my attention. I got a phone call from Anna, my loving and attentive girlfriend, last night and she told me some very very alarming news. Evidently, now one of the paramedics on ER is played by none other than... you guessed it: John Stamos. That's right, kiddies - Uncle Jesse is rolling bloody, injured guys around on stretchers on TV. I'm pretty sure that this is a sign of the Apocalypse, but I'll have to read up on Revelation to verify that. Until then, start buying canned goods and boarding up your windows.

0-fer OR Why I Suck As a Fantasy Football Owner

Actually, I don't even have a good excuse. I had a legacy of 3 straight playoff appearances, and 2 straight championship games. Now, after 10 weeks, my win total is... 0. Yeah, that's right. But honestly, who would've guessed that Daunte Culpepper and Ahman Green would both suck hard for a few weeks and then both get injured and shut down for the season? And I only used like a 5th round pick on Green. I mean, I knew I was in bad shape when Tiki Barber was the first back I took, but I never would've guessed it would've ended up this bad. We did change our scoring system for this year, and I think that kind of screwed up my drafting strategy. That's a bit of a cop-out though. Oh well, I'm 7-3 in my other league with a team I didn't draft. La-dee-frikkin-da.

On another note, Jason is sick, and his voice is brutal right now. Not a good sign when you've got a show the next day. So we may have to go heavy on songs that I sing, or just have Jason push through it. Of course, we could just do a bunch of Barry White covers. Anyway, let's just keep our fingers crossed that Jason doesn't have the bird flu.

these careers are flatlining! get me a show to put them on, STAT!

I used to watch ER, back in the day. You know, when it was the hot new show, right after Seinfeld? But I haven't seen a single episode or ad for it in probably 5 years now. I accidently flipped to it last night and found that these people are now in the cast:

the girl from 3rd Rock from the Sun,the guy from A Walk to Remember,

and John Leguizamo (yes, he also played Luigi in the Super Mario Bros movie).

What the heck has happened to this show? Is it now just a random collection of sort-of-famous people? What's the over/under on episodes until Jason Priestley shows up as a chief surgeon? Needless to say, my desire to watch the show hasn't increased. My heart still belongs to another...

Darther than me

Alright, fine, I admit it. This guy looks a lot more like Darth than I ever could've hoped to. But seriously, how am I supposed to compete with Hollywood street performers? Huh? I just don't have the time that these semi-employed people do. I guess when I finally quit my job to be a full time musician, I might be able to make some time in my schedule for things like "looking more like Darth Vader" but the way my life is right now, it's just not possible.

So as you can already tell, the Hollywood trip was a success, and not a waste of money. Of course, I haven't gotten my credit card bill yet, so it's pretty easy to say right now. Ask me again at the end of the month. Anyway, I took a lot of pictures of stuff that I thought was either funny or gratuitous. Like this for example:


Now, is it just me, or does this just seem unnecessary? I mean, who even takes pride in this star? Does the guy that came up with the Godzilla character brag about this, even though he gets absolutely ZERO credit? Is Mothra jealous? Is the Pillsbury Doughboy's star down the block? I guess these are just rhetorical questions, because we'll never know the answers. But, based on my trip, I can answer this next question. Here we go.

What songs did this guy write?

Well, the answer may surprise and horrify some of you. Especially those of you that are fans of the 80's and not of the Latin explosion of the late 90's. Here's the list: "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi, "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi, "I Was Made For Lovin' You" by KISS, "Crazy" by Aerosmith, "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin, "Livin' la Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin, and "The Thong Song" by Sisqo. Yeah, the way that you just said "whaaaat?" is exactly how I said it. Except I was in the middle of a crowded conference.

Apart from all that, I did get some good information and advice, and I met some people. I got to hang out with Bryan Kelley, who owns a cd manufacturing company called Groove House Records. I met him in Boston, and he lives in LA. We went out to lunch at this obscure Vietnamese restaurant that Bryan had heard was good with two musician guys: Stefan Mitchelll and Jonathan Kingham. Our waitress told us she had come to Hollywood to be an actress and we had the following exchange...

Us: So have you had any luck?
Her: Well, a little bit, I've been in a few things...
Us: Oh yeah? Like what?
Her: Um, well, mainly some reality type stuff.
Us (confused): What? Reality? Really? What kind of shows have you done?
Her (sheepishly): Uh, I was on, um, Joe Millionaire...
Us: ...(awkward silence)

So apparently she was eliminated in the first round. Only in Hollywood. She complained that they edited stuff to make her look different than she really is. NO WAY. Reality shows are NOT TELLING THE WHOLE TRUTH? I won't believe it. Anyway, Stefan's website is hilarious because he is one of the more animated and goofy people I've ever met, and his website and cd seem to suggest otherwise. And also, weirdly enough, I had actually seen Jonathan in concert a few months ago, because he was playing in Glen Philips' band on his tour.

Anyway, later I had a mentoring session for 10 minutes with a songwriting teacher named Jai Josefs as a part of the conference. I played Already Over for him, and he said I'd "go far if you learn a few things". And then he told me some thing he thought I should change in the song. True story. To repay him, I bought his book.

you know your team made a good trade when...

...later that year you read this about the guy you traded: "Philadelphia Phillies relief pitcher Ugueth Urbina has been arrested in Venezuela on charges that he and a group of friends attacked employees at his ranch with machetes and tried to set fire to them, police said on Tuesday." He attacked them with MACHETES and tried to SET THEM ON FIRE. I don't even know how that would happen. Did he threaten them with the machetes and chase them around with a torch? Did he just light the machetes on fire and throw those at them? Maybe this was all just a big misunderstanding of Uggie taking up flaming sword juggling. I'm just waiting to hear that Kyle Farnsworth is a cannibal or something. GEEZ, and everyone seems to think that T.O. saying mean things about Donovan McNabb is bad. Either way, kudos to the Dave Dombrowski and the rest of the Detroit Tigers management for having the foresight to trade a guy that would later try to set other guys on fire. I don't think that Jim Leyland would be able to hold the team together next year if Uggie were to set Fernando Rodney and his goofy facial hair ablaze while he was getting loose in the bullpen.

i'm not going trick or treating because you're all the sweetness i need

ah, halloween pick up lines. is there anything better to do at a Young Life club? i think my personal favorite was "It looks like you dressed as a really attractive person for Halloween. Wait a second, that's not a costume!". anyway, here's a picture of me in costume. apparently Darth Vader was the most popular costume this year, and as always, i was right at the forefront of this season's fashion trend.

i will answer a few of the questions that you have in your head right now:
1) no, those aren't three-quarter length sleeves. it's a youth Large.
2) yes, the costume was originally one piece and i did have to cut off the bottom half to be able to put it on and that's why i'm wearing shorts.
3) yes, i did still salvage the legs by tucking the top edges into my boxer briefs.
4) yes, michael cullen did proceed to pretend to be choking long after i stopped the hand motion, so all in all, not a very accurate re-enactment.

i realize now that this post has nothing to do with note to self, so i will change that. i am going to hollywood on thursday for the Taxi Road Rally. it's a music industry conference for this service of which i'm a customer. i learned a lot when i was in Boston, so hopefully the west coast will be just as informative. at least i'll try to meet a bunch of people. and worst case, i get a two day vacation to a place where i know almost no one. wait. that's actually kind of a bad worst case. and i'm spending a crapload of money for this. shoot.

an actual post, i promise

okay, i'm a liar. this is just a gratuitous post to see how posting pictures works. here's a really blurry picture of Fenway park from when i was in Boston. they were playing the Yankees on the last weekend of the regular season, potentially for the final playoff spot. high drama. as you can tell, i had really good seats.