a step towards mustachehood

So I had a major milestone in my mustache experiment. I was in the bathroom yesterday, and I looked in the mirror and I had SOME CRAP STUCK IN MY MUSTACHE! This is monumental. You can't get crap stuck in your mustache if you don't have a mustache. So you all know what that means... I have a mustache.

Now that I have two points on the growth time line, I have used these two pictures to enter into a computer program that projects facial hair growth. The computer has projected that by the end of my full month of not shaving, I will look like this.

Anyway, we just got back from doing an in-studio session at 107.1 in Ann Arbor. It was fun. We played Illiterate and Already Over, and then did an interview. We definitely said a few things that they will have to edit out, and Adam called a mulligan right away because he said "alright guys, introduce yourselves to America." Right, America. Ann Arbor, MI, America. That's okay though, he's thinking big - I like that attitude.

the few, the proud, the mustachioed

At some point near the end of college, my high school buddies and I decided that it would be funny if we started showing up at get-togethers with mustaches. I'm not totally sure how this started, whether it was because my buddy JET mentioned that he had done that, or if it was because Luke showed up at Johnathan's wedding with an upper lip eyebrow, but the expectation has been set. Every year, we have an Annual Mr. Patrick's Day Hoo-ha, and last year, the mustaches flowed like wine. I, being one of little facial hair, have yet to participate in the custom. However, this year, we are celebrating the 4th Hoo-ha, and also, the union of myself with Anna. So, since I can't show up to my own wedding with a mustache, the growth has begun. I will chronicle the progress here. I have decided to take the conventional route, and grow the chin hair at the same time, only to shave it the day before the Hoo-ha. I'm not sure I (or, more importantly, Anna) could stomach the process of growing the mustache by itself. This is a picture of one week of not shaving. Not a lot of coverage, I know, and there's a weird dot in the corner of my mouth. And I don't mean that mole, I mean the tiny dot right in the corner there. I really wonder what that was. And did I brush that away later, unknowingly, or did I accidentally eat it somehow? I guess we'll never know.

coming out (wink, wink) and just saying it!

So I've been watching a lot of Olympic coverage, which kind of drives me crazy sometimes. It just bugs me when they package stuff up, and then do the commentary way after the fact. For example, when an commentator will say "And (insert name) crosses the finish line and will win the gold medal!" but it's like a half second too early. Anyway, the phenomenon that gives me the most joy in the media is when they want to do a story on something that's not quite politically correct, so they try to package it in a different way, as if that was what they were really focusing on, but we all know what they mean. Case in point: the piece on Johnny Weir. It was almost like Bob Costas was saying certain words really slowly and nodding and winking at the camera while saying them. They would say things like "Boy, that Johnny Weir, what a CHARACTER (wink, wink) with that FLAMBOYANT (wink, wink) personality of his." Allow me to translate to what they were really saying: "Boy, that Johnny Weir, what a CARICATURE OF A GAY PERSON with that FLAMING personality of his." It's like their way of doing a piece on how effeminine Johnny Weir is, without doing a piece on how effeminine Johnny Weir is. I almost feel like my intelligence has been insulted, as if they expect we wouldn't figure it out. But now if anyone points a finger at them, they can put their hands up and say "No, no! That was simply a piece on how INTERESTING (wink, wink) he is." I guess it's a lot like how Joe Dumars can't just up and say "Drafting Darko was a huge mistake. He has the coordination of a drunk sorority girl and the work ethic of a stoned teamster. If it were somehow possible, I would rather have drafted Sam Bowie than to draft Darko."

Running Diary: opening for Down the Line at The Ark

4:23 - I'm just now leaving my apartment. Of course, I'm leaving later than I'd hoped. I actually was planning on leaving at like 2 or 3, but I took a pretty solid nap during that time. Hopefully that's a gamble that pays off.

4:31 - I just got to the part of M14 where there's a street sign that tells everyone to slam on their brakes. Ok, there's no sign, but it would explain how people drive on this stretch if there were. I have a near-accident every time I drive through here.

4:44 - You know how you're supposed to pull over when there's any sort of emergency vehicle on the road with its sirens and light on, but you never know what to do when it happens if you're on a boulevard or divided highway, going the opposite direction? You think to yourself, there's no way they're going to just turn around, right? Well, as I was pulling on to 23 South, sure enough, a fire engine was coming north, and then the thing pulls a U-turn in the service turnaround. Mass chaos. There were cars pulling off to the side of the road in every direction, at every speed possible. And I'm sure these guys qualify as "Authorized" to use the service drive, but they definitely took the next exit, and waited at the next stop light. No emergency. Maybe I need lights on top of my car.

5:02 - I just picked up Jason. After my experience so far, I'm a little, shall we say, anxious to get there on time. And Jason is trying to show his brother, Jeff, a skit on his Chapelle's Show DVD. Needless to say, this does not make me feel better about our chances of getting there on time.

5:12 - The original plan was to go out and grab dinner, and then go to sound check at 6pm. There's no way we have enough time for that now. And apparently Jason already ate something. So, we're stopping at the Jimmy John's that I used to work at. I was a delivery guy. It was a pretty good job, and it taught me what it's like to get stiffed, so now I only tip 20%. But I was way too busy, so I had to quit. Ah, what could've been...

5:40 - Okay, so we just spent like 20 minutes trying to find the back entrance to the Ark. This seemed like it was going to be an easy task, like finding the front of the Ark, but the back entrances are not labeled quite as well. As in, there are just a bunch of random doors with no markings whatsoever. I will say that we found a few weird walkways that went from the alley out to Main St though. So if I'm ever being chased by a murderer in that alley, I'll be able to outsmart him or her now.

5:41 - Well, we went up and Down the Line is just starting their sound check because they were running a little late. That's okay, because we couldn't figure out how to get into the friggin’ building. Anyway, Jason is chatting with Derek so I'm going to start bringing some equipment up.

5:47 - As I bring up the last of our equipment, Jason asks if I need help. I say no, and make a bitter comment about whether or not I should get paid more because I'm doubling as our roadie. Truthfully, most of the stuff is mine, but nonetheless, I choose bitterness.

6:00 - Well, I’m sitting down to eat, finally, while Down the Line does their sound check. The front row of seats is awkwardly close to the stage. We are totally going to be all up in those peoples’ grills tonight. Or maybe they’ll be all up in ours. Either way, I just hope I don’t end up spitting on any of them.

6:09 - Jason forgot his guitar stand, and I forgot my amp stand. Dangit. It’s a good thing this is a serious music venue, because they have everything. I feel like I could tell them I forgot Jason and they’d be like “Oh, don’t worry - we’ve got one backstage.”

6:10 - Dave, the bass player for Down the Line, looks a lot like the drummer from Guster.

6:29 – Back in the dressing room, there’s writing on the walls EVERYWHERE. A lot of random phrases, a lot of band names. So far, I haven’t found anyone I’ve heard of, but there are a few really weird things. Someone decided it would be a good idea to write “penis of Ireland” on the wall. I hope that wasn’t a band name. For their sake, you know. Two of my other favorites were “Jesus is coming… look busy” and “I’ve been working on the railroad –I’m Chinese”. And of course, there is no restroom. According to the sign, it’s the BRESTROOM. And there’s a speech balloon coming from the stick girl’s mouth that looks like it says “I’m touching clooth too”. What the crap does that say? This is going to drive me nuts. I’m sure I’ll be thinking about this during our entire set.

6:39 - Apparently, Down the Line is really good. I went back out to listen to some of their sound check, and maybe I just don’t hear 4 part harmonies very often, but I came away VERY impressed. Jason told them that listening to them made him wish we both had 2 voices. Derek then quipped that it would be hard to figure out who’s out of tune: “Dude, I think your second voice is a little flat.”

7:26 - Alright, we just finished our sound check, and I just suck with monitors. I don’t get it. I can never seem to get a mix where I feel confident that I will be able to hear everything during the show. Why can’t everyone just be completely silent and like 5 feet away from us, that way we don’t need a sound system?

7:41 - We decided that we should leave our mark on this place, while we have the chance, so we wrote something really clever on the doorpost between the two sections of the dressing room: “Note to Self”. What if this was really just a rampant problem that the Ark had, and they hated it when people wrote stuff? (And if you work at the Ark, and you’re reading this, it’s all lies – Down the Line wrote “Note to Self” on the doorpost)

7:49 - As it turns out, the Down the Line dudes are TAXI members. Small world. Dave has been to a Road Rally, and Dan does most of the submissions. Yeah, well, I bet Dave didn't get served Korean food by a girl that was on Joe Millionaire.

7:54 - We were told that we had 30 minutes to play, but it wasn’t real clear whether or not that included time for us to tear down our equipment and have the intermission. So that could’ve meant that we really had like 15 minutes. We had setlists for 6, 5, or 4 songs. They just told us we’re good for 6. Things are falling in to place!

8:00 – I didn’t actually write anything during this part. Because we were on stage, singing and playing guitars. So I didn’t have my notebook with me. There’s not a lot to say except we were crazy nervous at first, and loosened up a bit by the end. We bantered back and forth a little more than usual, and I think this will become a trend.

8:40 - Jason and I sprinted out to the merchandise stand to be good, gracious rock stars by signing CDs, and greeting our fans, or… doing nothing at all. We had one guy come up to buy a CD, and when I pointed out the newsletter signup sheet, he nodded, avoided eye contact, and then shuffled away. The other people that came to talk to us were Jason’s dad and Anna’s sister. Good to see we’re bringing in new fans.

9:01 - While Down the Line starts playing, we go back stage, and I start to pack up my gear. I have so many cables - it’s ridiculous. Jason and I chat about the show. We’re both pretty excited, and we both feel it went about as well as we could ask. Of course, it would have been nice had we frikkin’ remembered to mention the CD and website.

9:10 - We’re sitting out in the crowd now, and I’m starting to feel like we need to do more live backing vocal type stuff. Jason thinks we need to be more animated. True. I don’t think any part of my body except my mouth and hands moved during Already Over.

9:46 - A couple of girls get up and start dancing during a particularly energetic portion of one of Down the Line’s last songs. Of course, this move never really works out, because at some point, the energy level comes back down, and you find yourself forcing dance moves to mellow music in front of 100 people whose view you’re blocking. Naturally, they awkwardly sit down after like 12 seconds.

10:05 - Down the Line finishes their encore, which we listened to from backstage, and I decide to greet them with a standing ovation. Standing ovations are less effective when you’re already standing, and there’s no one else in the room. Anyway, the Down the Line guys are all really excited about the show and they offer us a few cans of Budweiser. I politely decline, and probably make a face like they had just offered me poop on a stick. I mean, I appreciate the gesture, but I’m just not a big beer drinker, and Bud in a can is not exactly top shelf stuff.

12:47 (estimated) – I went to Live at PJ’s because Anna’s brother Donny was in town, and at this bar. So we stop by to say hi, and lo and behold, Down the Line is there. What are the odds? Anyway, I wave to Derek and when he recognizes me, he shouts “HEY MAN!” and gives me a hug. Hilarious. Nice guy, though. All of them were, really.

Well, that about does it. I guess you don’t really get too many of my thoughts during the actual show, but hopefully this whole thing has caused you to at least let out a little chuckle.

pants on fire

I almost made a liar of myself. Well, technically, I guess I did already. Our theknot.com page has been ready for a few weeks now, and I haven't added the link here. So there.

Also, I've been contemplating the idea of doing a running diary for the show tomorrow. My next post should let you know if that idea bears any fruit...

**

2 stars. Normally, out of 5 stars. That's not very good. 2 thumbs are excellent. But that's because it's out of 2 thumbs possible. We have one user review of our album on iTunes, and the guy gave us 2 stars. And apparently, his major hangup is that we're listed under "Rock". He can't seem to get past it. I get the feeling we lost at least a star and a half for incorrect genre classification. So if you have iTunes, why don't you do us a favor and write us a review, and try to overlook your overwhelming emotions regarding the genre we're found under.

The Super Bowl was fun, wasn't it? I avoided D-town like the plague. I knew some people that wanted to go down there, just to see what it was like. I feel the same way about that as I do about a weekend road trip to Utah. Anyway, is it just me, or are the Super Bowl commercials getting more and more disappointing each year? I remember it being a really big deal in the past. Now, I feel like we've got a lot of old commercials, interspersed with a lot of "new spins" on old commercials, and then a lot of boring, not-funny, new commercials. I laughed out loud twice. The commercial where they kill the fly, and the "crime deterrent" phone. And do people ever really remember the companies? I think the fly killing commercial was for a company that had something to do with investing. They paid millions of dollars for that, and I can't remember the name of the company, let alone, what they do. That's kind of how I felt when I was putting up flyers for our Starbucks show last year.

Speaking of which, we're playing at The Ark on Friday. Hooray. I had a weird dream about it last night, where Jason and I were trying to decide if we should play on stage, or out in the crowd. Because if we were in the crowd, we would have to bring our own monitors. And there was a dude opening for US, and I was putting guitar picks on my mic stand, and he looked at me and kind of cleared his throat like "excuse me? i'm trying to perform here." I hope that doesn't really happen.

ANYWAY. I broke a string yesterday while we were practicing for the show. So now I'm all nervous that it'll happen during the show, and my guitar will go crazily out of tune, and I'll have to play acoustic songs on my electric. Oh well, I guess that would be better than us trying to play out in the crowd. Anyway, if you're planning on coming, try to buy your ticket ahead of time, because I think a lot of people are going to be there...